Helluvablog

I’ve bitten the bullet this week and got a cleaner. This makes me feel like a lazy bastard and like a fat bourgeois git. It also makes me feel like Waheyy! No more housework!!

Strangely, I’ve found myself tidying up the house in anticipation of her arrival, which strikes me as faintly ridiculous – like standing outside your house all night to deter burglars so that your guard dog doesn’t get scared. Maybe that’s it. Maybe the whole point of getting a cleaner isn’t so much so that they’ll clean your house but more so that you will get off your arse and clean it more.

Perhaps I should hire a full time mechanic to force me to look after my car better and a manicurist to stop me biting my nails. They wouldn’t actually have to do anything, just let me hire them. I’d do the rest.