44 Blues

Had the blues, then got some new strings for my guitar and finally figured out a reliable way of mounting my camera onto my guitar without a/ making it unplayable or b/ being in danger of twisting the next off.
Anyway, for your delectation, here is my rendition of 44 Blues...

Best Photo-Cataloguing Software?

I need your help.
I've been into photography - both as a viewer and a photographer - for a long long time. I've also been designing for web and print for some time. I also save any images that catch my eye on the internet, be they advertising, funnies, art, stock or erm... entertainment. This means that over the years I have accumulated many, many thousands of images spread across hundreds of folders on three or four different hard drives.
I have decided that instead of choosing folders in which to save images - followed at a later date by a frustrating search for the image when I want it - the answer is to simply dump the whole lot into a single folder. All of them, no sub-folders, or separate drives, nothing. then I'll use tagging and/or cataloguing software to sort it all into a searchable, comprehensible image library.
The question is, what software to use? I know of Picassa but have not used it since its beta stage when it was ok but a bit... clunky
So, what software can I use to achieve the above scenario? Or are you thinking, "God, no! Don't do it!!"
Oh, one more thing - free is the new black.
Oh, one more more thing - it must work with all image formats, or at least with PSD, TIFF, PNG, EPS, GIF and JPG.

Two Wrongs

________


Update: YouTube got rid of the video on me so here's the song again. Not quite the same without seeing Snoop line dancing and singing the chorus with Willie Nelson, but I still like it.
________

Two wrongs don't make a right. That's what my mother used to say to me.
There are many things that I have found over the years to prove my mother wrong. Unfortunately, as child I didn't know what I know now so she got away with it all.
I didn't know, for instance, that if you take the sickly-sweet wrongness of Malibu, mix it in equal measure with the equally, barfmakingly wrong Bailey's Irish Cream and pour it over ice, the double wrongness become very, very right.
Similarly, take two other very, very wrong things:

• Country & Western music and
• Snoop Doggy Dog(g?)

I know what you're thinking - "there's no need to worry about those two getting together beacuse... well... you know..."
Either one of these alone is enough to make me gnaw my own foot off to escape it and yet... Mom, you lied to me again...

An 80's Odyssey

Cheesy moments from history (and my record collection).
Looking through my old and neglected vinyl - purchased from the age of eleven onwards - I decided to see what I could find of it on YouTube. Here are some selected results...

Donna Allen - Serious
I bought the 12-inch of this when it came out because I loved the mad harmonies in the chorus (although they're a bit lost in this mix. I still have it, I still love them, but I really wish I could turn the drums down.
Oh, and there's no excuse for yellow spandex, Donna. None at all.


Five Star - Stay Out of My Life
I'd forgotten I owned this. Sound-wise, it's a catchy one but I'm amazed at how much of an aural rip-off of "Everybody Wants to Rule the World" by Tears for Fears. Not in the music itself per se but in the production and subtleties like the guitar sound and solo style and the arpeggio accent to much of the song.
Also, what the christ is going on with the lead singer's eyebrows?


Rush - Countdown
Spread my entire album, single and CD collection around a football field, don a blindfold and fire an arrow into the air. Chances are it will hit something by Rush.
Here's a song from the Signals album, written after they visited the launch of the Columbia Space Shuttle. It was a weird period for Rush, not one of their best but with brief glimpses of old glory and genius.


Judas Priest - Turbo Lover
Don't tell anyone, but I love the album Turbo. People who love Judas Priest generally slag it off, but I'm not that big a Priest fan and I love it. Puerile lyrics and one long metal cliché, but by god, it rocks.
What a bizarrely shit video though.


Go West - Don't Look Down Girl
Yes, I own Go West's debut album. Again it's the loud-drum-big-snare production that dates it, otherwise it's a great album. Peter Cox may not win any prizes for his dancing (or his miming) but he's got a voice I'd kill for.
I love this song although, as with all their videos, they've changed it somewhat for this and added some weird noises and such. Still as cheesy pop-rock goes, it's excellent and I can't help buzzing a little bit when I hear it.


Night Ranger - Don't Tell me You Love Me
Yes, 80's Hair Rock. Ok so they video (which they won't allow me to embed so you have to click here) contains much guitar wanking and slo-mo hair but say what you like about NightRanger, they weren't afraid of furious, chugging dual-guitar riffs, and they knew how to end a song.

The Sugarcubes - Hit
Not strictly 80s, more early 90s but this track from the album Stick Around For Joy is a classic and a reminder of just how fucking good the Sugarcubes were. Also the video is a reminder of just how beautiful mental warble-pixie Björk was before madness ate her face.


I think that ought to do you for now...

Remember when I asked what poem this excerpt came from?

Scratch'd by a fall, with moans
As children of weak age
Lend life to the dumb stones
Whereon to vent their rage.
And bend their little fists, and rate the senseless ground;

Well, I found it today after all these years of searching. It is actually from an epic poem by Matthew Arnold called Empedocles on Etna. The bit that I read all those years ago is just a small part of the whole thing but it is a small piece of genius and sums up my feelings on religion and the reasoning behind man's apparent need for it...

Born into life—who lists
May what is false hold dear,
And for himself make mists
Through which to see less clear;
The world is what it is, for all our dust and din.

[...]

Nature, with equal mind,
Sees all her sons at play
Sees man control the wind,
The wind sweep man away;
Allows the proudly-riding and the founder'd bark.

And, lastly, though of ours
No weakness spoil our lot,
Though the non-human powers
Of Nature harm us not.
The ill-deeds of other men make often our life dark.

What were the wise man's plan?
Through this sharp, toil-set life,
To fight as best he can.
And win what's won by strife.
But we an easier way to cheat our pains have found.

Scratch'd by a fall, with moans
As children of weak age
Lend life to the dumb stones
Whereon to vent their rage.
And bend their little fists, and rate the senseless ground;

So, loath to suffer mute.
We, peopling the void air,
Make Gods to whom to impute
The ills we ought to bear;
With God and Fate to rail at, suffering easily.

Yet grant as sense long miss'd
Things that are now perceive'd,
And much may still exist
Which is not yet believ'd
Grant that the world were full of Gods we cannot see;

All things the world which fill
Of but one stuff are spun,
That we who rail are still,
With what we rail at, one;

Genius.

Loadsa stuff about me...

I wanted to get back into posting and the habits of talking about me and stuff around me so I thought I'd do one of those wanky questionnaires that people always e-mail you. Came out something like this...

1. What was the last meaningful thing you did?
   Care
2. What was your first love like?
   Painful, embarassing and one-sided
3. What do you wish you could tell your parents?
   anything
4. What is the one thing you would never do, no matter how much money was offered?
   Eat shit and die
5. What are your favorite sounds?
   harmonies. tight female vocal harmonies.
6. How do you "get over someone"?
   a period of hate, a period of acceptance and a new one.
7. Do you like cartoons?
   Who would possibly answer no
8. 8. Have you ever-contemplated suicide?
   Yes. I've also contemplated eating cat shit and flying to the moon in a carrier bag.
9. How old were you when you gave/received your first kiss?
   10-11
10. How do you deal with anger?
    1.swear. 2. breathe deeply 3 swear again and hit something. 4.Fix broken thing 5. Shoot germans online.
11. What is your opinion on bisexuality?
    Whatever.
12. In a perfect world, what would you be?
    Immortal
13. How tall are you?
    Dunno - 5'7" - 5'8"ish
14. Do you ever feel invisible?
    Surely one would look invisible and not feel it.
15. Would you be willing to go on Temptation Island?
    I'm single so... sure :0)
16. Do you keep a journal?
    no
17. What is the most unusual gift you bought for somebody last Christmas?
    A book on Endangered Parrots
18. Why do you fail?
    Who says I fail?
19. Do you write snail mail to anyone or do you mostly email?
    E-mail. Haven't written a letter in 16+ years
20. How do you feel about pornography?
    It's mostly shit but it serves a purpose and can be fun.
21. What is heaven like?
    What is Santa Claus like?
22. What do you have on your walls?
    Pictures, a Renoir Print, photos, cymbals, a tambourine, Indian (asian) wall hangings, L-plates, a frisbee, a hat, postcards a grip-strengthener concert tickets, flyers... I'll stop there
23. What is hell like?
    What is fairyland like?
24. What is the most embarrassing CD in your collection?
    Brandi & Monica "The Boy Is Mine" - you don't even want to know about my vinyl
25. What is in your fridge right now?
    Stuff. Sauce. Hummous, salsa, milk, pitta bread oj... and porridge oats. Don't ask why I keep them there, I just do.
26. If you could talk to yourself as a five year old for five seconds, what would you say?
    Learn everything - suck your teachers dry.
27. If Satan appeared to you right now, what would he say?
    "Hello, I'm Satan. And you thought I didn't exist. MooHAHAHAHAHAH! Fear me." etc
28. What should people pay more attention to?
    Detail
29. Left handed or right?
    Left, of course.
30. What about you would surprise other people?
    Most stuff. Scratch the surface a bit.
31. What is your favorite poem?
    Scratch'd by a fall, with moans;
    As children of weak age,
    Lend life to dumb stones whereupon to vent their rage.
    And bend their little fists,
    And rate the senseless ground.
32. What is a guilty pleasure you have?
    Pleasure is nothing to be guilty about. I like what I like.
33. What book changed your life?
    Fist-Fucking By Numbers

So, that's me I suppose.

Where you been boy?

Busy.
That's where I've been. I've been busy working, I've been busy having family shit and I've been busy having a mini nervous breakdown. Really busy.
Work has been eating my time, leaving little for anything else - a cascade of video projects with barely realistic deadlines, a website, an interactive CD-ROM and an electronic handbook.
I've had a bit of a social prolapse and my constant yeehaww lifestyle has come to an abrupt halt. Other than work, I've been out of the house twice in the last two months - even doing my shopping online - this Howard Hughes period is coming to an end now though. The only contact I've had with other people has been by phone, e-mail and Teamspeak. Been playing a lot of the BAFTA-winning Call of Duty online. I have even hired a dedicated server (along with five friends) and we now have up to 24 people at a time shooting each other's faces off. At the moment I am trying to learn Regular Expressions so that I can administer the server properly - but that's another story. I have a new housemate and a stoooopid dog - neither of which I ever seem to see, I'm older, fatter and more sober than I was. Two of these things will change in the future. One will continue. See if you can guess which.
Anyway, suffice to say that sorry it's been a while, but I'm back and hope to get back to the original flavour of the Helluva Blog.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year. Here's hoping that 2004 is better than 2003.

What the Hell are you doing here?

Well? SXC is back online! Go on, RUN.

Diverted Traffic...

Starting to feel like a local sports hall after an earthquake here...
Hello you poor, forlorn SXCers. Don't look so lost. You're amongst friends. There is a place you can go and get all that posting off your chest - just until SXC comes back online. It's called the Helluva Forum and you might find that there are more familiar 'faces' there than you'd expect...
Come on in, have a cup of tea and a chat, relax. Everything will be fine...

Free star filter!!

So... tonight I went out, as I've been planning to do for a while, to take some night shots of lights and traffic. It's absolutely freezing here at the moment - real brass-monkeys weather. So off I went, armed with a camera and a cheap tripod (and a wooly hat) and took a few shots here and there around the place where I live.
When I came back and put the contents of the flashcard onto my computer I found that I had crazy lens flares alll over my shots and all the light sources had those star effects that you used to get in cheesy Top Of The Pops moments way back when. I suppose it must have something to do with taking a perfectly happy, warm camera out into the freezing british winter night without warning. Some of them don't look too bad but others look like shots from a seventies travel brochure. Here's an example. Click to make it larger...


Update - I've since learned that it was more to do with my aperture settings than some magic cold-pixie.

SXC Notice

The site will be down for a couple of days due to a newsletter from a company called Freeservers. This was reported to Spamcop.net as a spam e-mail. Unfortunately the e-mail, included a mention of SXC, which resulted in the SXC host ISP almost getting blacklisted. The ISP then pulled the plug on SXC saying that they wouldn’t host the site anymore but Admin is negotiating with them and SXC should be up and running again in a day or two.

Fingers crossed.

Ah'm Ze Cleanerr

I've bitten the bullet this week and got a cleaner. This makes me feel like a lazy bastard and like a fat bourgeois git. It also makes me feel like Waheyy! No more housework!!
Strangely, I've found myself tidying up the house in anticipation of her arrival, which strikes me as faintly ridiculous - like standing outside your house all night to deter burglars so that your guard dog doesn't get scared. Maybe that's it. Maybe the whole point of getting a cleaner isn't so much so that they'll clean your house but more so that you will get off your arse and clean it more.
Perhaps I should hire a full time mechanic to force me to look after my car better and a manicurist to stop me biting my nails. They wouldn't actually have to do anything, just let me hire them. I'd do the rest.

What the hell ...

What the hell is this poem? I remember reading it in a book years ago and it just stuck in my head. Don't remember what the book was and I only remember a bit of the poem but it is driving me mad...

Scratched by a fall, with moans
As children of weak age
Lend life to dumb stones
Whereupon to vent their rage.
And bend their little fists,
And rate the senseless ground.

Any ideas anyone? There's a Mars Bar in it for you :0)

Do not despise the snake...

Ninjai is the story of a young but incredibly powerful samurai. Animated with Flash it is an amazing piece of work, bloody and in parts profane it is definitely worth a look. Warning: You will need a big fat pipe to download the movies - there are nine so far and they run up to about 8-9MB a piece.

Little Known Moments from History

Hope you've eaten lunch

Autopsy Report is the weblog of an american Medical Examiner's Intern. It's basically all the stuff you get in CSI but for real. Although gruesome in parts it is also absolutely fascinating.
Go there, but leave it for a while before you eat. You'll never stick your finger in cake mix ever again.

Careful what you wish for...

You may or may not have noticed me constantly plugging SXC on this site. It is a photographic site and community that I've been obsessed with since the moment I first found it. See that link over there on the right? The one that says Maffu's Photos? Well, that takes you to my photos on SXC. See all those Image of the Day sections? The majority of them so far (with the exception of Asya Scheeen) have been from SXC.
Anyway, as of yesterday (Sunday) I've been given moderator status at SXC. What this means is that I get to be part of the photo approval/rejection process. It is something that I'd hoped for in a way for a while. So on Sunday I spent my first day in the system sorting through the backlog of uploads that have built up during site maintenance over the last couple of weeks. It was at this point that the reality of what I was undertaking hit me.
In the many months since I first started visiting the site, uploading and joining in the forums there I have made a good number of friends to various degrees - it's the way of things really when you have a common passion it makes it easier to get to know someone even if you're on the other side of the world. Now, all of a sudden I'm having to judge their work. In some cases I'm having to reject the work of photographers whose work I have admired and even aspired to in the past.
The thing is that it is a stock-photography site. What makes a good stock image isn't necessarily what makes a good photograph. Technical prowess is important for both stock and artistic photography, but beyond there the two take quite separate roads. In a photography competition a close-up shot of a key against a plain white background isn't really going to turn heads. On a stock site it will be a great asset. Stock images that are acceptable, whilst falling within certain guidelines, also need to be judged on 'useability'. That indecipherable mess of squiggles that you finally figured out is a shot taken of a light bulb whilst pissed may be useless in the village photo competition, but I can guarantee you that there are hoards of dribbling designers who'll bite your arm off for it if you put it on a stock site.
So you have the dilemma of seeing a photo by an artist you admire, that is artistically exciting/interesting/outrageous but will be practically useless for stock purposes.
And you just have to reject it. You don't get to say why, other than selecting from a choice of about fifteen possible reasons in a drop-down box. You don't get to encourage that person or say that you personally loved the image. You just have to reject it. The quality of photos uploaded on SXC is soaring higher and higher all the time and the only way to keep that up is to be strict about the approval rules.

I wonder how long my friends will remain friends.

Blue

All of a sudden I find Kate Bush playing on media player. I've been feeling a bit down this weekend and try as I might I've found it quite difficult to be amongst the people I'm usually with. It's nothing major and I can spot the cause of it easily enough - with the exception of last Monday I've been out on the razz every night for the last two weeks. My energy reserves are just about fucked.
I'm trying to live the same sort of lifestyle I led all through my twenties and, while it is possible to visit the past, you can't stay there for long. I'm a thirtysomething old geezer and my body just can't take the beating that I used to give it when I was younger and fitter. Not for long at least. So I've found myself out with Rachel or Kev or whoever, surrounded by people having fun - the fun that I'm usually a part of - while I just sit think about how good my bed will feel when I get into it.
Need to stay in a couple of nights and sleep.