New Doctor

Changed doctors because the old doctor had a strange way of diagnosing illness:-

Me: Hello Doctor. I have terrible pain in my right shoulder.
Him: Mmmm, just drop your pants for a moment would you?

Me: Hello Doctor. I have this strange rash on the end of my nose.
Him: Mmmm, just drop your pants for a moment would you?

He also had another one...

Me: Hello Doctor. I have this strange rash on the end of my nose.
Him: Mmmm, let me se... BAM *sticks a needle three inches into nearest joint*
Me: GuhJEEEEEZ. Fuck. Ow.
Him: How's that feel?
Me: Can I go now, please.

And indeed a third...

Me: Doctor, I keep loosing my balance.
Him: That's because you're fat.
or
Me: Doctor, I used to do a lot of drugs and now I find it hard to remember things from back then.
Him: That's because you're fat.

So he had to go.
The new fella seems much better. He actually looked at his notes before making any comments and, more importantly, told me I was fine. Bafflingly, he also told me that if I go to Greece and have a cup of coffee that I should have two glasses of water as well.
But only if I go to Greece.